do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
do herpes really smell.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you will always have a special place in my vag
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
