I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Boobs are out for the taking
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
