I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just come out here and I will go home with you...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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