Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm really into asian looking animals
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
