I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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