Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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