If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
