Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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