We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
