Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
