I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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