so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
