My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
