somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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