ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
