remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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