woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's shark week go big or go home
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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