This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
