Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
