my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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