i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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