you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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