I just made out with a guy for $7.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Even my vagina gasped.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
