I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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