No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
