so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
