i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
