The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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