Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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