i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
