Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
