just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
