if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
