Texts From Last Night

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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Say something about gay babies.

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  (605): Say something about gay babies. http://tfl.nu/ehqd
  Replies (15) Good night (1209) Bad night (1591)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?

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  (248): I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape? http://tfl.nu/ekyk
  Replies (32) Good night (594) Bad night (4578)
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  (530): View more from California

  the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo

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  (530): the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo http://tfl.nu/dqpo
  Replies (25) Good night (10564) Bad night (1198)
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  (949): View more from California

  went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.

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  (949): went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off. http://tfl.nu/go0t
  Replies (23) Good night (5706) Bad night (703)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?

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  (412): Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs? http://tfl.nu/bbo7
  Replies (28) Good night (5019) Bad night (1702)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.

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  (561): They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment. http://tfl.nu/ozel
  Replies (7) Good night (1318) Bad night (2211)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.

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  (609): I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound. http://tfl.nu/4n17
  Replies (4) Good night (1165) Bad night (661)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.

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  (970): The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch. http://tfl.nu/vgkc
  Replies (5) Good night (1285) Bad night (578)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.

  (1-414): View more from Wisconsin

  That is like, the point of shorts

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  (414): Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard. (1-414): That is like, the point of shorts http://tfl.nu/qcbf
  Replies (5) Good night (1433) Bad night (826)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.

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  (540): Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex. http://tfl.nu/37hh
  Replies (2) Good night (1508) Bad night (450)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?

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  (352): But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door? http://tfl.nu/ozrv
  Replies (3) Good night (789) Bad night (319)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.

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  (+44): If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned. http://tfl.nu/qyit
  Replies (8) Good night (438) Bad night (1248)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight

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  (519): I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight http://tfl.nu/pto6
  Replies (0) Good night (343) Bad night (198)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it

  (408): View more from California

  its winning. its definitely happening

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  (408): this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it (408): its winning. its definitely happening http://tfl.nu/yixq
  Replies (1) Good night (534) Bad night (323)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.

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  (803): So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops. http://tfl.nu/g5jw
  Replies (0) Good night (178) Bad night (652)

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