I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Too much gin, very little bucket
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
