Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...

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(517): View more from Michigan

the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.

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(281): View more from Texas

threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.

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(310): View more from California

Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"

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(660): View more from Missouri

There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK

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(318): View more from Louisiana

We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..

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(916): View more from California

Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.

(616): View more from Michigan

So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.

(1-604): View more from British Columbia

Atta girl.

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