Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  I just saw a hot homeless man

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  (305): I just saw a hot homeless man http://tfl.nu/z026
  Replies (18) Good night (1174) Bad night (708)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???

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  (303): do u usually make out with people before telling them your name??? http://tfl.nu/ocp0
  Replies (27) Good night (4199) Bad night (1211)
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  (323): View more from California

  The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.

  (1-323): View more from California

  Did you put it in the freezer again?

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  (323): The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child. (1-323): Did you put it in the freezer again? http://tfl.nu/uvmz
  Replies (29) Good night (909) Bad night (6265)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.

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  (781): she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser. http://tfl.nu/fqkl
  Replies (116) Good night (2875) Bad night (20388)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins

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  (507): Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins http://tfl.nu/hk0d
  Replies (12) Good night (5656) Bad night (1076)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things

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  (706): She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things http://tfl.nu/lrvj
  Replies (23) Good night (4805) Bad night (1197)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.

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  (740): I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday. http://tfl.nu/4f6m
  Replies (8) Good night (994) Bad night (2280)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.

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  (314): Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning. http://tfl.nu/u08e
  Replies (7) Good night (3302) Bad night (838)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.

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  (810): You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight. http://tfl.nu/18uj
  Replies (4) Good night (3363) Bad night (847)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.

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  (541): I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed. http://tfl.nu/aml6
  Replies (14) Good night (608) Bad night (1360)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.

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  (713): I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/unpl
  Replies (4) Good night (760) Bad night (259)
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  (213): View more from California

  WTF DUDE?

  (323): View more from California

  Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this

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  (213): WTF DUDE? (323): Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this http://tfl.nu/ooar
  Replies (6) Good night (1067) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  ITS ORAL SEX CAROL

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  (651): My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means (651): ITS ORAL SEX CAROL http://tfl.nu/ccj7
  Replies (7) Good night (1272) Bad night (300)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just want nice things and good sex

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  (732): I just want nice things and good sex http://tfl.nu/04u5
  Replies (12) Good night (1075) Bad night (213)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE

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  (204): I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE http://tfl.nu/94j1
  Replies (6) Good night (223) Bad night (297)

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