By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
