...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
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Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
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Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.