i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
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in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
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Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?