In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
