just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
True strength comes from lack of pants
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
