Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize