Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Small penises have feelings too.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
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I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
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THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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