Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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