I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
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i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
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The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I forget how to act sober
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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