Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
