better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
