Christians are straight up FREAKS
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
