Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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