it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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