Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
