TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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