He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
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I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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