there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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