Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize