He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I woke up under a house in Key West
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