Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize