I feel like abortions should bother me more
i think i have herpe
just one?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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