you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
