Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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